Dear Abbi,

I hate being in tiny apartments.  I don’t understand why anyone living in a tiny apartment would invite other people over for a dinner party.  I hate when you can smell someone cooking.  Like I get over to this dinner party, and the host is still cooking the meal and I’m like-why can’t you finish this before everyone gets here???  We all don’t need to smell you cooking!  Then, everyone wants to talk about everything!  Like-where we’re all working, where does everyone live, what did everyone do last weekend, what do we all think of our current Health Care situation, what’s everyone’s favorite movie, book, singer, color?? Do we all have to know how everyone else is doing?? I like to keep some things to myself.  Is that so crazy?

No Name

Nowhere, NO

Dear No Name,

I don’t like tiny apartments either.  But, I will say that people seem to be your main issue. Talking to them and just being around them.  People can be pretty frustrating. They can be annoying, loud, nosey, obnoxious, and just disgusting.  I try and keep an open mind around people and realize that they are really trying to be friendly, and not show me specifically why I should hate them.  Here are some helpful tips for associating with other people:

1) Always carry tissues and toothpicks.  People usually have something gross like food or trash all over their faces and teeth, so handing them a tissue or toothpick is usually a sign of kindness(even if it’s for your own benefit)

2) When in a group of strangers make everything up.  It’s no fun telling strangers your real name and what you really like/do/are.

3) If they don’t leave after the so called conversation has died down a bit, talk gibberish. Have spasms.  They will get uncomfortable and not know how to react.

Best of luck,

Abbi

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